————————————

• Awesome conversation with Kristina:
  chadtapp10: wat if i tiped like dis
  chadtapp10: wat wuld u do
  kSiZzLe0227: i would slice your throat.
  .
• “Oh my god, turn it up!  Where is that radio located!?” – Drunk chick thinking the piano being played was a radio.
  .
• “What’s that left hand?  Right hand sucks?  Word.” – HIMYM.
  .
• “Where is my motha’ fuckin’ pen, yo?”
  “Ummm, I thin-”
  “THERE. IT. IS.” – Heather, in a crazed, gangsta voice.
  .
• Drunk Chad:  “…And there was no parking space out there by the way!”
  Sober Meredith:  “So… where did you have to park?”
  Drunk Chad:  ” Like… fuckin’ somewhere else!”
  .
• “Would you like to hear more locations?”
  “No.”
  “The third locations is-”
  “Noooo!”
  “Would you like to hear more locations?”
  “NO!”
  “The fourth location is..” – Cory vs. FedEx Mario
  .
• “MATAR A TU MISMO!”
  .
• “I’m Sherlock Holmes; ya’ll my Watson’s.”
  .
• That time I fell in love with ‘The Lovely Bones’, but never really made it past page 17, after trying to read it for over two months.
  .
• “Kill yoself” -Chad… and everyone else.
  .
• “Shit. Is. Sketchy!” – Miriam
  .
• “Off yourself!” -The evolution of ‘kill yoself’.
  .
• “I feel stupid around you sometimes, because you’re like, this guy, with all these ideas. And they just stun the hell out of me.” – Rachel
  .
• “Zucchini…” -Cory can’t say this.
  “Zukeeney” -Apparently Cory says it like this… but only on Mondays.
  .
• “Typhoid.” -We all eventually suffer from this.  Thank you, Oregon Trail.
  .
• “LAVA CAKE…” lol… fifty-nine cents.  Good eats.
  .
• “I’ll just flash my titties for some free beer and shots.” -Heather
  ” Ummm that will get you maybe half a beer.” -Cory (on St. Patrick’s Day 2008.)
  .
• “And CHAD, I smoked all of that girls weed!  And then Arthur said that she wanted it back, and he was coming up to get it!  So I went and bought more to cover-up what I had smoked.  But then, Kira and Natalie and I were sooo bored that we smoked it.  ALL OF IT, Chad!  So I had to go buy more, and it was reallll shitty weed too, with seeds and shit up in it.  It didn’t even cost $20, and I am giving it back to this girl that spent over $60 on her stash that I smoked.” -Meredith, of course.
  .
• “I am jealous of your friends.” -Del
  “Haha, why?” -Myself
  “A: I rarely hear you in some type of drama.  B: You’re crazy, but laid back.  C: Not as quick to judge.  D: Not a backstabber (multiple times).  E: You don’t tolerate bullshit.  Bullshit = Fuck you!” -Del
  .
• “From now on, I am going to write, “I loveeee you Snookie Bear” on your wall.  …Just kidding!  I don’t love you enough to write that.”
  .
• CLOGGED TOILET ORDEAL 2009.  Cory, Heather, you know what I’m talking about.
  .
• “Are you bleeding?” -Chad
  “Na–” -Cory
  “Please say yes…” -Chad
  .
• Anything and everything ever spoken during any episode of CSI: Miami.
  .
• When there is nothing to do… you can always finger paint.   True story.
  .
• “Two years ago I was afraid of wanting anything.  I figured wanting would lead to trying, and trying would lead to failure.  But now, I find, I can’t stop wanting.  I want to fly somewhere in first class.  I want to travel to Europe on a business trip.  I want to get invited to the White House.  I want to learn about the world.  I want to surprise myself.  I want to be important.  I want to be the best person I can be.  I want to define myself, instead of having others define me.  I want to win, and have people be happy for me.  I want to lose, and get over it.  I want to not be afraid of the unknown.  I want to grow up and be generous and big-hearted, the way that people have been with me.  I want an interesting, and surprising life.  It’s not that I think I’m going to get all of these things.  I just want the possibility of getting them.” -Friday Night Lights, motha fucka!
  .
• (10:25:57 PM) Chad: Oh my god: http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2620/113/60/1392720095/n1392720095_30726967_7022769.jpg
  (10:26:03 PM) Chad: I hate these people.  So much so, that I am logging out.
  (10:26:04 PM) Heather: ugh I hate them
  (10:26:06 PM) Heather: hahahahah
  (10:26:07 PM) Chad: Hahahahahahah!
  .
• SEXY POOTS (dun dun nun nun!)
  .
• “I just saw my gurl do her thang.” -Miriam
  “…What?” -Chad
  “Hannah Montanna.” -Miriam, OFF YOSELF.
  .
• JAI HO!
  .
• You are the reason why I breathe!
  .
• You are the reason why I still believe!
  .
• BUS HOE (Jai Ho / Redneck party night)
  .
• Thanks, Miriam: “OMG, I found you on the internet! www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907252.”
  .
• “WOMP.” -Jasmine
  .
• Any conversation with Tara that includes the changing of the start of every words first letter to ‘d’. EXAMPLE: “Dany donversation dith Dara dhat dncludes dhe dhanging df dhe dtart df dvery dords dirst detter do ‘d’.
  .
• IT’SME!  That ‘awesome’ black chick from Christina’s 22nd birthday…
  .
• The wild wildabeast outside of Cory and Heather’s apartment.
  .
• Wet-the-Bed-athon… Mr. Smith and a few others, you know what I’m talking about.
  .
• Bridal show Jane.
  .
• “Clepto.  Pyro.  Psycho.” -Heather, describing me.
  .
• Ay bay bay!
  .
• (10:59:54 PM) Chad: Sorry, I was busy drawing.
  (11:00:11 PM) Cory: Then stop.  I’m more important.
  .
  
• Telepathic conversations.
  .
• Adding ‘yo’ to the end of each sentence… yo.
  .
• All of those (now numerous and uncountable) times that we will say the exact same thing out of the blue at the exact same time.  I mean, come on, it is hard to encounter something more awesome than that.
  .
• Family Nights.
  .
• Two-beer Miriam.
  .
• Cory and Heather’s near-run in with death at Sketch Motel near the end of Birmingham trip 2008.
  .
• Flying photoshoots (bed jumping).
  .
• The scrapbook of awesomeness that I’m going to be given for my birthmonth this year…
  .
• “But Linnnnddddsssaaayyyyyy!” – Horrifying levels of comedy in ‘Halloween’.
  .
• “TOTALLY…. TOTALLY…. TOTALLY…. TOTALLY.” -More comedy from ‘Halloween”.
  .
• “First, I’ll take your clothes off, and then you will take my clothes off, and then I’ll take Lindsey’s clothes off!” -Rape on a 7 year-old, that clearly would have occured in ‘Halloween’, had Michael Myers not intervened.
  .
• “Shut up, you asshole!” -Intoxicated Alisen S. to sober Katie B.
  .
• “When I’m drunk and get on Facebook everyone’s statuses are SO good and I can’t help but ‘like’ every-single one of them.  Even the people I haven’t talked to since high school.” -Kaite B.
  .
• Discovering Jasmine’s … “toy”.  Yeah… about that…
  .
• “SORRY!!!!!” -Discovering Jasmine with no shirt on.
  .
• Ben Folds, Girl Talk, Gym Class Heroes, Mike Posner concert at Duke 4.22.09.
  .
• “LOL out loud”
  .
• Freeze-frame high-five!
  .
• Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.  (Thanks for that, Miriam.)
  .
• “You are my bacon bits in my sex bowl of life.” (Thanks, even more, Miriam.)
  .
• “What…?  I’m drunk to the point where I can’t hear… but I can still drink.” – Chadious
  .
• “I hate the ‘achoo’ part of a sneeze.”
  .
• “Dat’s da bomb, diggity!” -Heather…
  .
• Miriam’s midnight/noon exam deadline.  Oops!
  .
• The best videos ever, always come from positioning a camera on top of the fridge, to record us dancing around and singing like pros.
  .
• Our weekly “THE ROOM” viewing party.
  .
• What is love?  Baby don’t hurt me.  Don’t hurt me.  No more!  Woah, woah, woahhhhhhuuuuooohhhhhhhhh.  woahhhhhhuuuuooohhhhhhhhh, woahhhhhhuuuuooohhhhhhhhh!
  .
• When Cory, Nick, and I attempted to do this, with the help of the internet.
  .
• “Kids, I’ve been telling you the story of how I met your mother.  And while there’s many things to learn from this story, this may be the biggest.  The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do.  They’ll also be the things that happen to you.  Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life; you have to take action, and you will.  But never forget, that on any day, you can step out the front door, and your whole life can change forever.  You see, the universe has a plan, kids.  And that plan is always in motion.  A butterly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain.  It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kind of wonderful.  All these little parts of the machine, constantly working, making sure that you always end up where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there.  The right place, at the right time.” -HIMYM
  .
• That time Miriam invited Kristin instead of Kirsten over… and effectively ruined Cinco de Mayo for a short period of time.
  .
• Bro Nights
  .
• The gigantic radiation-infused ant that attacked Cory.  …And when Cory flinched when it leaped towards him.  Yes.  An ant.
  .
• “Oh, look who walked in here all ‘high-up’” -Heather
  “HAY GURRRL!” -Alex
  (Regarding Miriam’s super high shoes which made her look a foot taller.)
  .
• Out drink.  Out barf.  Out fuck.  -The motto Miriam and I came up with while playing Fuck You.
  .
• “Three times three is ten!” -Drunk Kirsten
  “………………TEN!?” -Everyone else
  .
• “That was beautiful and melodic.” -Tara
  “…Not so much.  It’s like an old man is playing with us.” -Miriam
  .
• “Hold this real quick…” -Chad
  “Okay.”  (pause) “…WHAT IS THIS!?” -Tara
  Tara, holding my chewed up ball of mushy french fries.
  .
• “We need to live each day like it is our LAST, and so, we MUST water it tonight!” -Miriam.  I have zero idea what this was even in regards to.
  .
• “Shit!  …Ummmm, don’t say that.” -Cory
  “Shit!” -Mexican kid
  “No!  Don’t say that!” -Cory
  “You!  QUIET!” -Mexican kid, snapping back at Cory, and putting him in his place.
  .
• “SHUT UP, YOU!  I PUNCH YOU IN FACE!” -The SAME Mexican kid to chubby Mexican girl.
  .
• This punk ass mexineighbor (yes, the SAME fucking kid from the past two entries) at Cory and Heather’s  demanded that I give him one of the hamburgers we were grilling. When I replied by saying “no”, he looked at me, shouted something in Spanish, and then told me he was going to punch me in the face. This kid is like 6 years old.
  .
• I then responded to him saying that I would no problem punching him in the face right back.  A six year old.
  .
• “GAH!  Ughhhh, my nuts are stuck to my leg!” -Mr. Cory Smith, ladies and gentlemen.
  .
• (11:39:01 PM) Chad: You guys were incredibly lame for not showing up at all last night.
  (11:29:15 PM) Heather: Haha, yeah, sorry.
  (11:29:31 PM) Chad: *blocks you*
  (11:29:42 PM) Chad: *warns you*
  (11:29:48 PM) Chad: *reports you*
  (11:29:53 PM) Chad: *files assault charges on you*
  (11:30:00 PM) Heather: *signs off on you*
  .
• “I would do ANYTHING to be at this game right now”  -Heather
  “Give me your soul…”  -Chad
  “Yeah! I would sell my soul to the devil.” -Heather
  “…Yeah… thanks…” -Chad
  .
• “Who gives a shit?  40 seconds?  Fuck ‘em.  They ain’t gonna score.” -Alex
  .
• XXXX:  “I don’t like doing this.”
  BBBB: “Whyyy?”
  XXXX: “I want him to come to me.  And then me be like bend over.  And then he be like okay.  And then me be like yay.  Hahahahahahahahahah.”
  BBBB: “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah XXXX I almost fell out of my god damn chair.”
  XXXX: “Hahahahahaha”
  BBBB: “Hahahahahahhahaha”
  XXXX: “I am putting that in my favorite quotes.  But I’m afraid to.  So I will save it in a word document.”
  BBBB: “Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!”
  (I’m sure you can’t tell who XXXX is by now, because it is totally mysterious, thanks to the secretive alias’)
  .
• Our world domination plans to buy two items each, at every single fast food restaurant off of their dollar menu.  From this, we will be able to be ultimate dollar menu millionaires, and prove to Mr. Chi City on YouTube that his poor ass just got 7-UP’ed, YO! (EDIT: Let me get on my knees and thank the almighty Heather Marslender for coming up with this fantastical idea)
  .
• Meredith vs. Chad turmoil (RIP: 3.17.09 til 5.8.09)
  .
• Talking about Cory as he is away.  Continuing to talk about Cory as he returns.  Still talking about Cory as he pulls out a chair.  Not stoping our conversation about Cory as he sits down.  Finally stopping our discussion about Cory once he begins talking with us about himself in our discussion about him.
  .
• THAT TIME THE MCDONALDS PARKING LOT TURNED INTO THE OFFICE NIGHTCLUB…
  .
• And then, that same night, as Heather got booty grinded and crotch grinded from front to back… a van full of the ghettoest hoodrats one has ever seen just randomly rolls by.
  .
• Miriam’s speed-demon antics when driving on the road with friends near her, but in other cars, all going to the same location.  Go, Speed Racer, Go!
  .
• This site… and how this shit takes forever to load because there is so much bullshit and hilarous stuff filling the pages…
  .
• “Ummmm, that is the coolest thing I have ever seen, and now I am going to devote my life to beating that record.” -Jennifer Evans, in regards to this amazing LIFE-FAIL video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8602472107022912201&hl=en

• That time you checked this website to see if you were in any new entrys because your drunk ass knows you said dumb (hilarous) shit last night, but you can’t really remember if you made a fool of yourself.
  .
• “Let’s get some food before we go swimming.” -Cory
  “No way!” -Chad
  “Why not?” – Cory
  “Because, if I eat, then I won’t be able to swim for 30 minutes!” -Chad
  “…” – Cory
  “And, I don’t want to cramp!” -Chad
  .
• “What do you want to eat?” -Cory
  “What do you want to eat?” -Chad
  “Something healthy.” -Cory
  “Cory Smith… eating healthy?!” -Chad
  .
• “Listen, I’m a skinny boy, and I need to get a little bit of fat on me.” -Chad
  “Listen, I’m a fat boy, and I need to get a little bit of skinny on me.” – Cory
  .
• “WHO?”
  “MY BRO!”
  “WHO?”
  “MY BRO!”
  “WHO?”
  “MY BRO!”
  .
• Cookout hookups.  ‘Nuff said.
  .
• Sketchy neighbor of Miriam that came over and hit on basically every person with a vagina.
  .
• Heather: Cory, we beat some bitch up that was talking shit about you last night.
  Cory: What!? Who!?
  Chad: We didn’t even know, he was all “Cory Smith? What a douche.” And we were all, “Hell naw.”
  Heather: It’s true.
  Chad: I promise. I curb-stomped that motha.
  Heather: Yeah! We had yo back, yo!
  Cory: What the hell?
  Heather: Yeah… we didn’t really.
  .
• Blue shirt.
  .
• “Hey girl!  I wann hug yo face!” -Creepy character in Coraline.
  .
• “Cory?” – Heather and I
  “….” -Cory (sleeping)
  “Cory…”
  “….” – (still sound asleep)
  “Cory, what was her name?”
  “BEASTLY.”
  .
• “Somebody pimp my ride… but only about ten percent.” -My dad, in regards to this car we saw.
  .
• “Tell them that you are not afraid to bump, if they wanna go.” (I have NO idea where this is from, but it’s stored on my phone with about 200 “hahaha’s” after it.
  .
• “I’m an ice skate,
  cause I got skates.” – Steven, as the greatest white rapper on Earth.
  .
• Me: “Wow, I haven’t updated the quotes page in like half a month.”
  Heather: “I know, I have been wating ever-so patiently.”
  Me: “Hahaha, nah, bitch, nah.  I hear you whispering in my ear when I spend the night at you guys’ place, all quitely, ‘Update yo page, fucka, or Imma cut yo ass.‘
  Heather: “Every single damn nite you are here.”
  .
• That time Miriam peed on a tree.
  .
• That time Miriam danced with a vase of flowers.
  .
• That time Miriam wanted to ‘sex me’.
  .
• That time that Miriam’s 21st birthday weekend was the best week of all of our lives.
  .
• “Was it wrinkley and red?” – Arthur Mallard, everyone.
  .
• “You aren’t getting back in the pool?” -Cory
  “Nah, once I’m out, I’m out for good.” -Chad
  hahahahahaha
  .
• “I would rape Michael Phelps in the pool” – Cory
  “Yeah, I’m sure you would.” -Chad
  “You’d rape Michael Phelps outside of the pool, wouldn’t you?” -Cory
  “Maybe…” -Chad
  .
• “Cory, stop banging on the wall!” -Heather
  “Yeah, this ain’t the drumline, dude.” -Chad
  .
• “I wish that I was black.” -Heather
  “Me too!  Just for like, one day.” -Chad
  “Yes!” -Heather
  “…I think this was just the dumbest thing we have ever said… ever.” -Chad
  .
• “STUPIDITY LEAK!” – I love you, Scream.
  .
• “BILLY, I WAS ATTACKED LAST NIGHT, AND NEARLY FILETED!” -Like… really love you.
  .
• Ummmmmm, can this chick be any shorter, and any more wide?  Seriously.  It looks like this scene was completely formatted wrong…” -Again, from Scream.
  .
• “I WANT A FREE LAPTOP FOR THIS SHIT!” -Kristina with Dell.
  .
• “981F… AS IN FUCK… 8C1″ -Me, to Dell.
  .
• Heather’s broken camera.
  .
• Heather’s broken computer.
  .
• Heather’s broken necklace.
  .
• Kristina’s broken face (upper-lip).
  .
• “I’ll smack you in the fucking taint if you fall asleep.” -In regards to Miriam forever-falling asleep within the first ten minutes of every movie she attempts to watch.
• “IMMA EDWARD CULLEN YO NECK, BITCH.” -Miriam, hahaha
• Then, Miriam saw this posted on my Tumblr, and screamed the following at me:
  “YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME CREDIT!?!?”
• ————————————

More to be added soon/eventually/maybe never.

Site started March 17, 2009.
Site updated June 2, 2009.